Just like with anything in life, grief is expressed in as many shades as there are humans. Don’t give in to the belief that there’s a “right” way to grieve. Instead, give yourself the freedom to develop your own way of grieving. And,
Be curious about understanding the unique relationship you have with loss.
I know it’s something you’d rather not look at, but what other relationship in life has the power to conjure up such catalytic, soul-shaking emotions in you? To immediately change your entire perspective in an instant? To remind you of your humanness and of your divine nature in the same breath?
This is the gift of grief.
For most of my life, I was deeply preoccupied with loss. I started my intimate dance with it in childhood when I’d pray to God each day, asking that if he was going to take anyone in our family, he’d take all of us at the same time so no one had to suffer. Later in life, I found myself assisting loved ones in taking their last breath and guiding their families through the transition.
Even still, I was afraid of being labeled “The Death Lady” because being this close to loss freaked me out. But the more I understood and molded how I personally coped with loss, the better prepared I was to shepherd others in their own dance with grief. It’s funny but my relationship with grief has been the longest lasting—and has undergone the greatest evolution in helping me become self-aware.
These experiences are a big part of why I wrote the book, The Good Goodbye: How to Navigate Change and Loss in Life, Love, and Work. I didn’t just want to offer a counterintuitive approach to healing from loss. I wanted to show the world that there are miracles in our losses. There’s magic in grief. And yes, there’s good in goodbye.
So if you’ve had a complex relationship with grief, I invite you to get curious about it. Notice how malleable or rigid it feels. Ponder what it’d be like to cut off your attachment to it and experience something new…kind of like with my haircut.
And remember:
Any kind of loss—a life, career, relationship, or dream of a healthy childhood—can be an opportunity to bring to light old wounds so that a more complete healing and closure can occur. You can have a corrective emotional experience, not only for the current loss, but also for those past moments that left you stuck and confused, unable and unwilling to move on.
If you allow it, each moment of loss can be an entry into the unhealed parts of your past so you can reconnect to them and move forward with grace.
—excerpt from Chapter V: The Impact of Unresolved Loss, in my book, The Good Goodbye
🌹Gladys
PS. If you ever decide to cut your own hair, remember you have to cut the back of it too so you don’t end up with a funky-shaped style. Problem is you can’t really see back there to know what to cut. Which is why I’m now in the search for a curly-hair stylist to finish what I started.
Takeaway: Sometimes it’s good to have someone with a trained eye to guide you in addressing those hard to see parts of your head…and life.
If you’d like my support to restyle your relationship with grief, I do offer private mentoring sessions. Unlike traditional talk therapy or grief counseling, my signature approach is direct (my no-fluff and spot-on feedback saves you from having to dig around in your past to uncover why you are the way you are), fun (healing doesn’t have to be boring or heavy), and designed to help you shape a new story of grief that’s more current and suited to who you are now.
Feel free to reply to this email or DM me to learn more.
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